He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
