i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
