Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
