Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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