walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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