so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
