we have pet lesbian snakes
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
