Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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