I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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