apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I looked at my own cervix.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
