why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
