I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
