you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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