she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
