first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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