she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
