Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
