Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize