doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
