your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Pants are for mortals
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
