Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
