I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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