how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
