I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
