Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
