My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
