Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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