I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
