I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
