i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
