So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
