I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
