i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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