Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize