There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
