am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
