So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just pee around me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
