I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I look better un-naked...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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