i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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