Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
