My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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