I'm pants shitting drunk right now
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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