I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize