they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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