You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
