Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
