Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
