friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
