he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
