My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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