thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
