Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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