I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i came on her dog
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
