When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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