I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
