Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
