My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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